Cruel, sadistic, misanthropic. Someone somewhere must have had these qualities to ever conceive of an idea so spiteful--waxing body parts! I thought this kind of thing went out with thumbscrews. No doubt a group of inebriated youths sat around one listless night, bored to distraction when the thought eked from their gin soaked brains. At such times, new and fanciful inventions erupt spontaneously from the collective mind of the group. I base my opinion on years of watching America's Funniest Home Videos.
I've recently had my lip and eyebrows waxed. At no time was I informed that the molten wax strip would not only remove unwanted hair but the top 3 layers of epidermis. I was not informed of the eye-blinding pain--and was flustered when the beauty technician kept shushing me because she claimed my shrieks of agony bothered the other clients. Side effects were never discussed. Can you say "welts?" The technician handed me a mirror so I could admire my new, youthful appearance. My right eyebrow was lovely but only half my left eyebrow was still attached. It's an ugly way to find out my technician was myopic.
The most egregious insult lingered to the last. After having parts of my face savaged, bespeckled with welts, and leaving with only 1 1/2 eyebrows, this person actually expected me to pay her! You must be kidding me. Imagine the look on her face when I erupted with laughter. Then a heinous image flashed in my mind: if she calls the police, I'll end up with the world's worst mugshot. Helped by my good conscience I reluctantly forked over the cash.
I've said all that to say this: People, in the spirit of comradery and true neighborliness, when the gift certificates come rolling in this Christmas, inspect them thoroughly. If you get one for a waxing, run screaming and toss it into the trash. I inform because I care. In closing, does anyone know how long it takes for an eyebrow to grow back?